Birth order and compatibility in dating
The legal profession is, says Grose, filled with first-borns.
World leaders are also overwhelmingly first-born children.
As the first-born boy, James didn’t struggle to establish his own identity as some middle-borns do, but, he says, ‘if I wanted something I definitely had to shout the loudest to make myself heard’.
Gemma, 33, the middle of three sisters, found it harder to carve out her niche.
Michael Grose, an Adlerian-trained parenting expert and author of (Random House, £12.99), explains the basics.
‘I felt left out, and overcompensated by forging friendships outside the family.’ She also became a skilled negotiator. I still use those skills now, and I’m good at seeing everyone’s point of view.’ Last born The youngest children are more likely to question the order of things, and develop a ‘revolutionary personality’.
Whether you’re a confident but controlling first-born or a resourceful yet restless middle child, your positioning in the family can affect everything from your choice of career to how successful your marriage is The order we’re born in – first, middle or youngest child – is outside our control.
So it can make us uncomfortable to think that our birth order can play a significant part in our success, our personality – the direction of our life.
These are all characteristics that fit Sarah Ruskell, 43.
The eldest of three, she’s a successful academic, married with three children. ‘I had a younger sister and brother who were much naughtier on a daily basis,’ she says.It seems harsh to condemn anyone to this description simply on the basis of where they stand in the family.Grose admits the effects of birth order can vary according to different factors, including temperament, gender and age gap.Surely, these things are not set before we even get started?